So my new quit date is 10/12/14.
I am now working on day 5 and feeling pretty good about it.
A lot of the negativity I was feeling a few days ago has worn off. My cravings I feel are pretty well under control. Still need to come up with a game plan to deal with the unexpected. That is usually what gets me. I think it may be time to spend more time going through my quit packet from Kaiser to help form a game plan. It unfortunately is in my car and my car is in the shop until Saturday Morning.
I am eating more then I want to. Snacking and craving sweets which is not normal. I can only handle fighting off so much though. I guess its time to develop some sort of exercise routine to try and combat that a bit. Yoga here I come! Now just need to find the time.
The end
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Oscar the Grouch
I am turning in to Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. I'm turning cynical and angry, I have no patience for that which infuriates and irritates me. My body is rebelling against me. My husband irritates me. My coworkers either irritate or infuriate. And all this just makes me so tired, unmotivated and grumpy.
Maybe it wont be all bad. Maybe I will finally give my co worker hell and stop letting him get away with his shitty attitude. That would be both liberating and satisfying if it actually worked out the way I want it to. Its probably a good thing the Jason (my husband) is not going to be around much of this week. Of course I'll probably eventually end up mad at him about that too.
I think I will need a nice pajama party with my puppies tonight watching Pride and Prejudiced or Howls Moving castle with hot chocolate or tea and something sweet (wine would be nice, oh how I miss you my delicious friend). I may need to make that a nightly think this week so that I can push through it.
on a side note I had to reset the clock new quite date is 10/12/14, I am 1day 43mintes into it. I dont want to talk about it. Moving on from here.
Maybe it wont be all bad. Maybe I will finally give my co worker hell and stop letting him get away with his shitty attitude. That would be both liberating and satisfying if it actually worked out the way I want it to. Its probably a good thing the Jason (my husband) is not going to be around much of this week. Of course I'll probably eventually end up mad at him about that too.
I think I will need a nice pajama party with my puppies tonight watching Pride and Prejudiced or Howls Moving castle with hot chocolate or tea and something sweet (wine would be nice, oh how I miss you my delicious friend). I may need to make that a nightly think this week so that I can push through it.
on a side note I had to reset the clock new quite date is 10/12/14, I am 1day 43mintes into it. I dont want to talk about it. Moving on from here.
Friday, October 3, 2014
My Last Cigarette
About a year ago I found this app called 'My Last Cigarette' for my IPhone. I have played around with it a bit and I think it can be a great motivational tool if not just kind of fun to watch.
Here are my stats today according to the app:
So I will kind of explain a little what you are looking at starting from the top. The heart with the cross on top is your life expectancy increase, the 0y, 0d, 2h, 53m, 46s is the readout that shows your increase in life expectancy compared to if you had remained a smoker. The skull with the number by it is a counter for how many people have died from smoking related deaths since you quite, its based on the World Health Organization statistics, So since I quit 24035 have died, scary!! The broken heart with the percentage by it is your heart attack risk compared against what your risk was before you quit smoking so basically this means I have reduced my risk of a heart attack by .17%; this is a screwy calculator I think they could have found a better way of presenting the information. The lungs with a percentage by it is the same as the heart attack one but for lung cancer, my lung cancer risk has gone down by .09%. The savings meter is calculating how much money I have not spent on cigarettes so far. I have saved $12.12. just above the bars that go from red to green you will see a calculator for how long I have been a non smoker. at the time of this picture I had not smoked 2days 11hours and 55mins. circulation indicates current improvement in circulation compared to maximum benefit I am likely to achieve. Lung Health shows current lung health compared to maximum improvement possible. Carbon Monoxide shows the level in your blood, this number drops down very quickly, I believe by the end of the first day it was in the green. Cravings show the expected level of cravings based upon how much and how long I smoked, wish it would move a little faster. Nicotine Levels show the level of nicotine in your blood, I found it interesting that it took a good solid 2 days for that to drop to green. What all this means is I have a long way to go but I am making progress! It also has the daily pic of discouragement. Today's was a bit squeamish but effective, they aren't always that way.
If you are interested In the app you can find more information about it here.
I am on day 3, Its definitely a little easier then day 1 and day 2 but I am still fighting the need to smoke. Its such a ingrained habit that I catch myself subconsciously preparing to go smoke before my brain kicks in and remembers that a) I don't smoke anymore and b) that I have no cigarettes. Also I am finding that the evenings at home are the hardest which I wasn't expecting. I figured my car would be the hardest. I am noticing my throat doesn't hurt nearly as much, the clogged up feeling in it also has decreased drastically. My tongue often times had a white coating on it and I am pleased that that is already completely gone. My chest feels a lot lighter too. The one negative is that I am having more issues with my stomach then normal. I am often having issues with being nauseated at night, but I have a good handle on that through diet and a special pillow I use. Now I am getting nauseated during the day and more then once too. Not sure what that is about but I am not one that handles feeling nauseous well, it needs to go away.
Here are my stats today according to the app:
So I will kind of explain a little what you are looking at starting from the top. The heart with the cross on top is your life expectancy increase, the 0y, 0d, 2h, 53m, 46s is the readout that shows your increase in life expectancy compared to if you had remained a smoker. The skull with the number by it is a counter for how many people have died from smoking related deaths since you quite, its based on the World Health Organization statistics, So since I quit 24035 have died, scary!! The broken heart with the percentage by it is your heart attack risk compared against what your risk was before you quit smoking so basically this means I have reduced my risk of a heart attack by .17%; this is a screwy calculator I think they could have found a better way of presenting the information. The lungs with a percentage by it is the same as the heart attack one but for lung cancer, my lung cancer risk has gone down by .09%. The savings meter is calculating how much money I have not spent on cigarettes so far. I have saved $12.12. just above the bars that go from red to green you will see a calculator for how long I have been a non smoker. at the time of this picture I had not smoked 2days 11hours and 55mins. circulation indicates current improvement in circulation compared to maximum benefit I am likely to achieve. Lung Health shows current lung health compared to maximum improvement possible. Carbon Monoxide shows the level in your blood, this number drops down very quickly, I believe by the end of the first day it was in the green. Cravings show the expected level of cravings based upon how much and how long I smoked, wish it would move a little faster. Nicotine Levels show the level of nicotine in your blood, I found it interesting that it took a good solid 2 days for that to drop to green. What all this means is I have a long way to go but I am making progress! It also has the daily pic of discouragement. Today's was a bit squeamish but effective, they aren't always that way.
I am on day 3, Its definitely a little easier then day 1 and day 2 but I am still fighting the need to smoke. Its such a ingrained habit that I catch myself subconsciously preparing to go smoke before my brain kicks in and remembers that a) I don't smoke anymore and b) that I have no cigarettes. Also I am finding that the evenings at home are the hardest which I wasn't expecting. I figured my car would be the hardest. I am noticing my throat doesn't hurt nearly as much, the clogged up feeling in it also has decreased drastically. My tongue often times had a white coating on it and I am pleased that that is already completely gone. My chest feels a lot lighter too. The one negative is that I am having more issues with my stomach then normal. I am often having issues with being nauseated at night, but I have a good handle on that through diet and a special pillow I use. Now I am getting nauseated during the day and more then once too. Not sure what that is about but I am not one that handles feeling nauseous well, it needs to go away.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Day 1 done
First day went rather well. Only had one minor set back when I got home. My pack of cigarettes were still sitting on the counter. From experience I know that if the cravings get bad enough I will go hunting through the trash for the pack or try to find one that isn't completely ripped up that I can get a few drags off of. Gross I know but an addict is an addict it doesn't matter what the drug of choice is, the addiction still controls you, or as the woman running the class says its your primitive brain doing the controling, you have to trick it.
Needless to say I ended up grabbing one. It went well though, I ended up having more self control then I usually do, more strength of will. I took a few drags and then threw it in the fire pit. An hour later I grabbed another one and did the same thing.
My husband was in charge of removing them from the house. Its better if someone else does it for me. He didn't see the pack yesterday morning so thought I took care of them. Today I will not have the same issue when I get home. The pack has been removed from the house by my husband.
I will have 2 tests to my resolve coming up soon. One of which I am trying to decided if its worth it. Tomorrow night my husband and I are going to go to dinner after work as a celebratory dinner that the summer is over. Summer was very busy and stressful for both of us. My boss had given me a $150 gift certificate to a very nice Italian restaurant for my 5year anniversary with the company at the beginning of the summer and we decided to save it and use it when the summer was over. Needless to say a bottle of nice red wine will be involved. But the strain on me is worth it. This dinner is something we both need. The second one that I have been debating about is a concert on Monday. It is to see Lilly Allen one of my favorite artists who is from the UK. She doesn't make it over to our neck of the woods often, I bought tickets to see her back in June. I am also going with one of my best girl friends who is a smoker and I am sure we will be drinking. Not sure that its worth it, I still have a few days to decide though. I also am in the free and clear after the Monday (the 6th) I have no other pre scheduled events that can spell trouble and can avoid them going forward. I had considered waiting until the 7th to quit but my throat is all kinds of screwed up and I'm starting to have a smokers cough so I decided that even if I stumble a little in the first week waiting any longer was not a good idea.
Needless to say I ended up grabbing one. It went well though, I ended up having more self control then I usually do, more strength of will. I took a few drags and then threw it in the fire pit. An hour later I grabbed another one and did the same thing.
My husband was in charge of removing them from the house. Its better if someone else does it for me. He didn't see the pack yesterday morning so thought I took care of them. Today I will not have the same issue when I get home. The pack has been removed from the house by my husband.
I will have 2 tests to my resolve coming up soon. One of which I am trying to decided if its worth it. Tomorrow night my husband and I are going to go to dinner after work as a celebratory dinner that the summer is over. Summer was very busy and stressful for both of us. My boss had given me a $150 gift certificate to a very nice Italian restaurant for my 5year anniversary with the company at the beginning of the summer and we decided to save it and use it when the summer was over. Needless to say a bottle of nice red wine will be involved. But the strain on me is worth it. This dinner is something we both need. The second one that I have been debating about is a concert on Monday. It is to see Lilly Allen one of my favorite artists who is from the UK. She doesn't make it over to our neck of the woods often, I bought tickets to see her back in June. I am also going with one of my best girl friends who is a smoker and I am sure we will be drinking. Not sure that its worth it, I still have a few days to decide though. I also am in the free and clear after the Monday (the 6th) I have no other pre scheduled events that can spell trouble and can avoid them going forward. I had considered waiting until the 7th to quit but my throat is all kinds of screwed up and I'm starting to have a smokers cough so I decided that even if I stumble a little in the first week waiting any longer was not a good idea.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Fun Facts
- Cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States. This is about one in five deaths.
- Smoking causes more deaths each year than all of these combined:
- Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)
- Illegal drug use
- Alcohol use
- Motor vehicle injuries
- Firearm-related incidents
- More than 10 times as many U.S. citizens have died prematurely from cigarette smoking than have died in all the wars fought by the United States during its history.
- Smoking causes about 90% (or 9 out of 10) of all lung cancer deaths in men and women.More women die from lung cancer each year than from breast cancer.
- About 80% (or 8 out of 10) of all deaths from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) are caused by smoking.
- Cigarette smoking increases risk for death from all causes in men and women.
- The risk of dying from cigarette smoking has increased over the last 50 years in men and women in the United States.
- Quitting smoking cuts cardiovascular risks. Just 1 year after quitting smoking, your risk for a heart attack drops sharply.
- Within 2 to 5 years after quitting smoking, your risk for stroke could fall to about the same as a nonsmoker’s.
- If you quit smoking, your risks for cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, and bladder drop by half within 5 years.
- Ten years after you quit smoking, your risk for lung cancer drops by half.
Information provided by :
14 hours
I always hate the first few days. Nicotine is still in your system so the horrible cravings don't tend to show up until day 2 or 3 when there is no nicotine or very little left in your system. Day One is usually the day that my chest hurts the most and the day that I am the most light headed and dizzy. For me that is worse then the cravings and one of the reasons its so hard for me to make it to day 2. If I had the ability to I would spend days 1-3 in bed sleeping and wouldn't wake up until day 4.
My first class went very well. It did what I expected it to do, motivate me fully. I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. We talked about what aspect was going to be most challenging to over come: behavioral, social, emotional, mental or physical. I think all of them are going to be hard for me. but I have a good game plan set up to tackle most of them. I think that therefore my weak spots are going to be emotional and mental. Tackling myself is going to be the hardest.
Now if I could only convenience my brain to stop being fuzzy and I would be all set. I am a control freak when it comes to my own body and when it does weird things I don't handle it well. Which is why day 1 is harder then day 2 and 3. But its only one day and I will just have to push through it and probably go to bed early so day 2 comes faster.
My first class went very well. It did what I expected it to do, motivate me fully. I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. We talked about what aspect was going to be most challenging to over come: behavioral, social, emotional, mental or physical. I think all of them are going to be hard for me. but I have a good game plan set up to tackle most of them. I think that therefore my weak spots are going to be emotional and mental. Tackling myself is going to be the hardest.
Now if I could only convenience my brain to stop being fuzzy and I would be all set. I am a control freak when it comes to my own body and when it does weird things I don't handle it well. Which is why day 1 is harder then day 2 and 3. But its only one day and I will just have to push through it and probably go to bed early so day 2 comes faster.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Game Plan
Even though I have tried and failed multiple times I still learned from every single one of them. Every failure I have learned something from to add to the list of things I need to consider for next time. As well as note what works.
Kaiser (who I have no attachment to other then that they are my health care provider) has a great program that fits what I need most. A support group who understands and is experiencing the same battle I am. I have done their program once before and I made it through the 6 weeks a lot easier then I thought I would. It wasn't until after when my dog ate a Tylenol product that caused her to be hospitalized for 3 days and cost me $3,000 that I fell of the ban wagon. I wish I could find someone to go through this with me so I have that same type of support I had then. What I learned is that I don't handle stress and anxiety well and that smoking is a big part of the way I deal with it. Anxiety and stress are going to be the hardest part for me.
What am I going to do about it? Well as I said for now I am going to get some anxiety medication that doesn't leave me useless at work and doesn't require me to take every day. Lots of hot baths after long days, soothing hot teas (thankfully winter is almost here). I have considered trying meditation which I will look into if the need arises.
The other thing I learned the last time I tried the classes was the wonderful idea of a quit kit. It really helps. I put a number of things that help distract me in it. Its the things that work for me.
Quit Kit:
Ok the one I don't like to admit. I have been fairly thin my entire life. When I managed to quit for that 8 month stint I gained about 20lbs. I was horrified. Though I don't like to admit it I am vain enough that this is an issue now, with me quitting I dread putting on weight. When I gained the weight last time and then had to face the reality that it wasn't just going to miraculously go away I started exercising and promptly discovered that I have weak ankles, I managed to sprain both my ankles after a week, my cardio was running in place and apparently my ankles didn't like that. I am going to give myself a few weeks but I plan to hit the gym early on and get a personal trainer who can help me work around this issue.
The second most problematic issue is that I am a fairly heavy drinker, most nights I have a glass of wine when I get home. More often then I should that ends up being more like 3. Alcohol and smoking seem to go hand in hand. Not sure why but maybe that's why there are so many people who only smoke when they drink. So no more alcohol for me. A friend who has been smoke free for 6 years now warned me that it could be a good year before I can touch it again, or go to a bar or party. I will need to plan ahead for the holiday season and more or less become a hermit. That is going to suck.
I think I have prepared for the big hitters. Stress/anxiety, alcohol, weight, being around smokers. I am sure there will be some surprises but at least I can eliminate these ones.
Kaiser (who I have no attachment to other then that they are my health care provider) has a great program that fits what I need most. A support group who understands and is experiencing the same battle I am. I have done their program once before and I made it through the 6 weeks a lot easier then I thought I would. It wasn't until after when my dog ate a Tylenol product that caused her to be hospitalized for 3 days and cost me $3,000 that I fell of the ban wagon. I wish I could find someone to go through this with me so I have that same type of support I had then. What I learned is that I don't handle stress and anxiety well and that smoking is a big part of the way I deal with it. Anxiety and stress are going to be the hardest part for me.
What am I going to do about it? Well as I said for now I am going to get some anxiety medication that doesn't leave me useless at work and doesn't require me to take every day. Lots of hot baths after long days, soothing hot teas (thankfully winter is almost here). I have considered trying meditation which I will look into if the need arises.
The other thing I learned the last time I tried the classes was the wonderful idea of a quit kit. It really helps. I put a number of things that help distract me in it. Its the things that work for me.
Quit Kit:
- coffee stir straws cut in 1/2 (these I use to suck on, chew on, and play with and are a gold mine find)
- worry stone (flat smooth stone to fiddle with)
- hard candy
- gum
- a list of all the reasons I am quiting and a little pep talk for myself when I feel like I will cave.
- small note pad and pen (along the same lines as this blog a way to get issues out of my head and help me work through them)
Ok the one I don't like to admit. I have been fairly thin my entire life. When I managed to quit for that 8 month stint I gained about 20lbs. I was horrified. Though I don't like to admit it I am vain enough that this is an issue now, with me quitting I dread putting on weight. When I gained the weight last time and then had to face the reality that it wasn't just going to miraculously go away I started exercising and promptly discovered that I have weak ankles, I managed to sprain both my ankles after a week, my cardio was running in place and apparently my ankles didn't like that. I am going to give myself a few weeks but I plan to hit the gym early on and get a personal trainer who can help me work around this issue.
The second most problematic issue is that I am a fairly heavy drinker, most nights I have a glass of wine when I get home. More often then I should that ends up being more like 3. Alcohol and smoking seem to go hand in hand. Not sure why but maybe that's why there are so many people who only smoke when they drink. So no more alcohol for me. A friend who has been smoke free for 6 years now warned me that it could be a good year before I can touch it again, or go to a bar or party. I will need to plan ahead for the holiday season and more or less become a hermit. That is going to suck.
I think I have prepared for the big hitters. Stress/anxiety, alcohol, weight, being around smokers. I am sure there will be some surprises but at least I can eliminate these ones.
Preparing to quit
I have done a few things to help with the transition. I have a call into my doctor to get a prescription for anxiety and well as a re fill on the medication I take when my stomach acts up.
I have enrolled in Kaiser Permanente's stop smoking 6 week class which starts this evening.
I have set the time and date to quit for a nice easy to remember date of 10/1/14. So after today there will be no more smoking for me, I set this date 2 weeks ago so that I could build up to it.
I have made 4 stop smoking kits. One for my car, one for my house, one for my purse, and one for work.
I have downloaded my favorite app to my IPhone called My Last Cigarette
I am ready to go!
My routine will not change but I plan to start every morning and end every evening with my own little pep talk. I am very addicted to cigarettes and this will be an up hill battle for me but I wont give up this time.
This space is one of the tools I decided to try to help me succeed. This blog is for me and only me, if others find it useful or helpful that's great. This is my outlet, my way to get the stress and struggle out of my head and through my finger tips. Its my journey.
I have enrolled in Kaiser Permanente's stop smoking 6 week class which starts this evening.
I have set the time and date to quit for a nice easy to remember date of 10/1/14. So after today there will be no more smoking for me, I set this date 2 weeks ago so that I could build up to it.
I have made 4 stop smoking kits. One for my car, one for my house, one for my purse, and one for work.
I have downloaded my favorite app to my IPhone called My Last Cigarette
I am ready to go!
My routine will not change but I plan to start every morning and end every evening with my own little pep talk. I am very addicted to cigarettes and this will be an up hill battle for me but I wont give up this time.
This space is one of the tools I decided to try to help me succeed. This blog is for me and only me, if others find it useful or helpful that's great. This is my outlet, my way to get the stress and struggle out of my head and through my finger tips. Its my journey.
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